This vulnerable story of finding life from death is for all who are searching for hope in spite of the grief suffocating them in the darkness of loss.

Have you felt

‍ ‍this grief?

The waves felt like they would never stop.

The pain would never go away.

The questions tormented me: What went wrong? Why was I hit one after another so close together without a chance to breathe? When will the next one hit? Will I survive this?

It was exhausting and overwhelming, and

I was drowning. 

Brett and Christina Varvel had two vibrant children, and they were eager to add more to their family. But at a thirteen-week-gestation appointment, instead of hearing her baby’s heartbeat, Christina heard the words, “I’m so sorry.” In her despair, she escaped into her diary to lament the death of her baby, unveiling her emotions, questions, and fears that threatened to drown her.

In the midst of battling anxiety, guilt, and physical disease, the waves of death crashed over again with the shock of another baby gone too soon. She had no choice but to continue “normal” life, while wrestling with her faith and the grief that was impacting her relationships with her husband, children, and others.

BUY NOW

Christina exposes her soul as she speaks directly to your heart from the pages of her diary.

Living Hope: Giving Birth to Death Brought Life

In this book, you will…

Feel seen and heard no matter the loss you have experienced.

Process the pain from your suffocating grief.

Find courage to not only survive the pain from losing your baby (or other loss), but find healing through it.

Witness the comfort and hope found in Jesus Christ, who sees you and is waiting for you to find refuge in Him.

buy now

The Impact On Others

  • “There is healing in every word Christina speaks. It’s the type of book that allows you to process the pain from past traumas. I believe that as you read, the confusion will clear and God will lead you out of the stuck place you have been in. It’s just so good.”

    — Shannon

  • “Christina beautifully illustrates what a relationship with the God who sees us in our heartache looks like, even and especially when we kick and scream and wish everything away. It reads like a conversation with a friend mixed with a modern day psalm. Everyone should read this book! It’s like a 200-some page hug for anyone dealing with grief. And whether we like it or not, that’s all of us at some point.”

    — Katie

  • “Your book could not have come at a better time. Through God’s grace, biblical counseling, and his mercy, I feel like I can take a stance on our miscarriages and grief like you wrote in your book. Honestly, I felt like I was reading my own thoughts down on paper. I know it takes great faith and courage to be so vulnerable and I want to thank you.”

    — Anonymous

  • “Through heartfelt storytelling and profound insights, "Living Hope: Giving Birth to Death Brought Life" not only honors the painful yet poignant experience of losing a child but also serves as a source of comfort and Christ-centered hope for those navigating their journey of life and loss. As a mother who never endured the tragedy of miscarriage or stillbirth, Christina's vulnerability in sharing her story offered me greater understanding and compassion for when I come alongside others enduring the same.”

    —Ahna

  • “Christina beautifully shares her heart in the midst of brokenness and pain, all while consistently pointing her readers to Jesus, our one true hope. This book is rooted in Scripture and Biblical truth, and was the best book I have read to bring hope after a miscarriage. This is a much needed message for a grief that is often not talked about, and it helped me process and bring healing in my own journey.”

    —Mollie

  • “This book was gifted to me after my son was born a month early and passed away after 4 short days. Once I picked this book up, I couldn’t put it down and I am not a reader. Christina is so raw and vulnerable in her words and touched my heart deeply. All the songs she included have been added to the playlist I have for my son that passed.”

    —Addie