Get Out of the Way
“Remember that sometimes you plant, sometimes you water, and sometimes you need to get out of the way, so God can bring about the harvest.”
Holy. Spirit. Chills. I visibly shiver and a “whoo” escapes my mouth, after the lady sitting next to me spoke that exhortation to someone else across the room. The group of women gathered in a circle laugh at my reaction, but I’m not laughing inside as much as I am convicted.
I zone out to meditate on what she said:
“…sometimes you need to get out of the way, so God can…”
Is that not what I’m doing? Getting out of the way?
I take in the scene before me, as these dear women share prayer requests and then approach the Throne for grace and protection before heading out to seven strip clubs throughout Indianapolis. This will be my last time gathering together with these women. After nine years, I’m stepping away from this ministry that has changed my life.
But I’m not just stepping away. I’m moving—two states away. No, the more accurate picture would be jumping full force without abandon. The Spirit has been one-by-one untethering Brett and me to all that we’ve known. We are jumping without the cords of comfort and familiarity to hold us; the only cord we are tethered to is Jesus.
We cannot explain our “why.” Everyone who asks us why we are moving usually continues to ask the obvious: Job? Better career opportunities? Yet the most tangible reply we can give is: “The Spirit—He’s been leading us, and we are obeying.” A confused look comes across some people, because that doesn’t seem like enough. It seems to not be tangible enough in our culture to make such a drastic life change, yet we have come to find that the Spirit is the only tangible reality and reason.
How else do we explain the past few years of holy discontent? An inner restlessness for more. Not more stuff, or success, or achievement…more of…the very presence of God Himself. More sanctification, more holiness, more filling of the Spirit.
How do we then explain…
When a friend, who lives across the country that talks to Brett maybe once a year, texts out of the blue that he had a dream—He came to our house (mind you, he has never been and explained the layout perfectly), and found it packed up with boxes. He emphasized that he never remembers his dreams, he didn’t understand it, but felt pressed by the Spirit to share it with Brett.
Or when we sit outside enjoying the evening on Brett’s day off of acting in this soon-to-be state of ours, having a peace and serenity that hasn’t been present in a long time, and I quietly but confidently say, “I could live here.” Then Brett’s eyes open with astonishment as he whispers back, “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”
Or when we question and doubt that God would really move us away from all we know, especially our beloved families and the impact it would have on our kids, and I reach for an old notebook to take notes during my counseling sessions, and open it up to the first page to find my daughter’s handwriting from four years prior:
2/13/2021 Dear Jesus, please help me that when I move someday that I won’t be sad. In Jesus’ name Amen.
Or when Brett comes home from a film shoot and crosses our current state border, a heaviness comes over his soul, feeling the hand of God has been removed from this place.
Or when we are like Abraham, and God says, “Go.” Yet we didn’t know initially where we are going, and we still don’t know why and what we are doing when we get there, nor do we know anyone there.
Each obedient step we have taken, the tethers are being cut. We are in free-fall, wholly dependent on the Spirit’s leading. Each act of obedience opens up the way for the next act. Each step confirms the prior step.
As I drove to the clubs that night, I had an overwhelming clarity that getting out of the way is not a bad thing. It’s not failure or disappointment. It’s not a lack of strength or perseverance. It’s not disobedience, nor is it a lack of faith. Sometimes we choose it and other times we don’t have a choice. I may be choosing to jump into the unknown, but there is one place I didn’t choose to leave—this strip club ministry.
After saying goodbye to my friends, some whom I’ve known for years, I sit in the parking lot on my last night in the clubs and cry as nine years of memories flood over me. How do I leave a place where I’ve seen God show up more times than I can count, where I’ve been humbled and convicted, where I’ve laughed, loved, hugged, cried, and prayed? Where I’ve learned to love unconditionally—to love a little more like Jesus and see people the way He does.
I am finally composed enough to drive away to visit another club, where for over seven years I prayed like the Israelites as they walked around Jericho, that we would be able to get into that club and love on those employees. The walls finally fell down because the Lord made a way, and now after a year of befriending those employees, I’m no longer “walking around” it as I drove by, or walking in it to deliver gifts; I’m walking away.
On my way home I think about the goodbye gift my club team partner gave me—a metal puzzle piece that says “Never forget you are the piece that made the difference. Thank you for the work you did, the person you are, and the difference you made.” How fitting, as moments before I opened the gift, I had texted the ministry director: “I’m legit leaving a piece of my heart in these clubs.” These words are an encouragement to me that sometimes God has us in a place for a season and a purpose, yet we leave a piece that makes up the Bigger Puzzle that He is putting together. We leave a mark, we plant the seeds, and then we get out of the way.
Sometimes God asks us to get out of the way so He can become the way. Last fall, Brett and I escaped to a cabin to fast and pray, and I wrote down several pages in my journal of specific prayers and requests. Our family memorized and clung to Psalm 25:4-5,
“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”
The process became a synchronized dance of sorts—we took steps of faith that God would answer our requests while He lit up our path with each step. Several months later, my journal is now full of answers to those prayers and ways that God showed up and made a way, especially when we thought He was shutting doors, or we doubted our path. There is no other explanation of how we took the steps we did and how every detail came into perfect place, except surrendering everything and allowing Him to become the way.
Sometimes God asks us to get out of the way to make the way for someone else. Within the past year, one of my dearest friends wrestled with closing her business after 20 years. She had used it as a way to minister to others and share the hope of Jesus, but now she sensed it was time to close it down. She fervently prayed for God to show her where He would have her next to continue ministering to others, while He was simultaneously working in my life with moving away, which meant leaving my position as a Workforce Chaplain. She became the perfect replacement, opening doors for her to use the gifts and talents the Spirit has given her, and the prior years of experience and connections from her business. She recently told me, “Do I really get to do this? I tell God everyday, ‘I am living a dream.’”
Furthermore, we struggled at first to sell our house, and even considered taking it off of the market to make some updates. The very night Brett and I made this decision, we received an offer on our home. What looked like God delaying answering our prayers was only the perfect timing for a family to find our home. The new owners shared with us that they knew it was the home they had been searching for the moment they walked in, seeing “the worn Bibles and the photos that made it clear God was at the center of your home.” They felt the presence of God and thought “how amazing it would be to live in a home that had been prayed in.” This family has been through heartbreaking circumstances and were searching for a place of refuge to call home.
Wow, have I witnessed and experienced how our obedience doesn’t only impact us; our obedience makes a way for others to walk in their own obedience and callings. We became others’ answered prayers…by getting out of the way.
Saying “no,” changing jobs, uprooting your family and starting a new life, stepping away from a ministry, friendships fading, children leaving the nest, and saying “goodbye” or “see you later” to people is never in vain. As my friend spoke out truth that night, we are to do only what God has called us to do—plant and water seeds—then get out of the way and watch what only He can do. This journey has been pure joy, being a spectator of the awesome works of our God, and nothing we can take credit for.
I never want to be in the way…and that means that we are leaving. Our work is finished here. We’ve planted seeds. We’ve watered seeds. We’ve even been blessed to witness the harvest. I’m confident that God can continue to bring the harvest in this place without us, since getting out of the way is making a way for others. Our puzzle pieces have been placed.
And now I wait eagerly with expectation that God is also cultivating the place where I am going, and that every step taken will bring about the way for new seeds, new water, and a harvest that is above and beyond what I could ever ask or imagine. The way for me to let go of anything holding me back from being a vessel used by Him. The way to bring about what my restless soul has been searching for…a deeper way with the Spirit.